Wednesday, February 25, 2009

New Blog, New Movies

Hi everyone- this is our new After Hours Movie Blog. This will be the place to find out our new stock, our musings on Evanston and video renting in general. Today (2/25/2009) we've got new movies: we haven't gotten a chance to see any of them yet, so these are only speculations: but we'll have reviews up once we have seen them!

Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder:
How to Bilk Your Audience Out of As Much Money As Possible

This is the newest installment in Futurama's quest into fanbaiting. Seriously, why don't they just make a new TV series again? They've got the fanbase for it... But if you're dying for new Futurama material, this is the most epic FUTURAMA ever, according to the back of the box. Come in and find out for yourself.

Rent This:
If you like comedies about cryogenically frozen pizza-delivery boys.

Don't Rent This:
If you didn't like any of the previous Futurama stock. This is extremely unlikely to change your mind.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People:
Or Why Simon Pegg Should Stick to making movies with Nick Frost and Edgar Wright

Okay, so we haven't watched this movie yet, but you know it can't be good when both Simon Pegg and the director completely disowned it before it even hit theatres. Rent this if you want to see why, I suppose: or if you want a lesson in how poor editing can ruin a film. At least it's better than whatever shit Dane Cook is filming.

Rent This: If you want to see what this great cast has to offer

Don't Rent This: If you don't want to take a risk on this possibly sucking.

PS: It's rated R and has Megan Fox, so who knows what you might see in this film!

I served the King of England:
Sex, Comedy, and Czech Film Awards

Well, this is another film we haven't seen yet- the good news is that Joe Morgenstern over at the Wall Street Journal thinks it's a comic, erotic, and perfectly wonderful film. The bad news is that I can't pronounce any of the cast or crew's names. Foreign films are kinda a crapshoot, but this one we've heard nothing but good things!

Rent This:
If you want to see how a film can be both erotic and funny.

Don't Rent This: If you don't want to take a chance on the Czech entry to the Academy Awards.

The Midnight Meat Train:
Possibly The Best Title of A Non-Porn Film

Let me tell you, I'm definitely the first person to jump on any Clive Barker experience- mostly for the monotony, and the remarkable unoriginality associated with anything this guy's name is stuck onto. However, this movie was apparently so racey that the studio decided to completely bury it, and only released it to two-dollar movie theatres. And now, you can rent it for less than two dollars from us!

Rent This:
If you want something you can be scared about and make gay innuendo about.

Don't Rent This: If you don't want to get on the midnight meat train. If you do want to get on the midnight meat train and ride it all night long, call (847) 733-0923.

Sexdrive Unrated and Cream-filled:
Seth Green's Slow Decline Into Dane Cook Territory

From all accounts, this is actually a fairly good teen-sex comedy, compared to things like Better Off Dead and the like. On the other hand, it's only known actor is one Seth Green, who we think got his character by doing a method study of Avi Klein. This DVD comes with a warning- that it is Ruder. Cruder, and yes- Nuder (which we're not entirely convinced is actually a word). However, with a sex-bomb like Amanda Crew, we're definitely looking forward to seeing her a little bit "nuder".

Rent This: If you want to be tantalized by the possiblity of seing Amanda's crew.

Don't Rent This: If you didn't wet yourself laughing at Not Another Teen Movie. You will not be impressed.

What Just Happened:
To Robert DeNiro's Career?

Sean Penn played himself in this film, which strangely enough, he did worse at than playing Harvey Milk in his Academy Award winning performance. Deniro plays veteran Hollywood producer Art Linson in what Gene Shalit of NBC Today considers one of his favorite movies of the year. And everyone knows that Gene Shalit moustache knows what it's talking about.

Rent This: If you want to see Sean Penn struggle to play Sean Penn.

Don't Rent This: If self-referential meta-film has no interest to you.

So those are our new releases for the week: we just popped in Futurama, so with any luck, we'll have a review up of it soon!

-Charlie and Jack


  1. I like how you managed to review Days of Heaven without mentioning Terence Malick. Or fields of wheat.

  2. wait a minute. wrong post. damn your long scroll. also, we need to talk.